40 is the new 13

Channel: 40 is the new 13

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This is what happens when you send your parents a photo scanner as a birthday...

August 22, 2012, 3:37 am

It’s 1982. Some visionary has just invented sneaker roller skates. We’re finally over disco. All the seventh grade girls are carrying battered copies of Flowers in the Attic or The Amityville Horror in...

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Everybody knows better than to party naked in a room full of strangers...

August 23, 2012, 8:19 am

Oh, Harry. Didn’t you know your naked hijinks would go in that little lens and just spill out into people’s houses? The title of this post, a direct quote from an ABC News public relations guy, has...

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I’ve Been Freshly Pressed!

August 25, 2012, 5:34 am

I got the email the other day. And it started out as a bad day. The kind you want to hit the rewind button on, so you can just begin all over again. I’d completely forgotten about an early morning …...

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Stay Little… and Watch Out for Bears

August 27, 2012, 4:00 pm

This past weekend, my husband and nine-year-old daughter went on a camping trip. They were staying in a cabin at a fairly luxe YMCA facility on Black Mountain. When I kissed them goodbye, I couldn’t...

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Do silly rituals prevent disaster? Yeah. I really think they do.

August 30, 2012, 4:44 am

Like many others, I have thoughts. They’re in my head. Increasingly, they’re jostling to get out. This is because they see how quickly time is passing. Eventually I’ll be reduced to swinging Indian...

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Did I secretly assault Jerry Lewis? It’s a Labor Day Telethon Memory!

September 1, 2012, 4:14 am

It was 1994… a few weeks before Labor Day… and I was taking a Personal Photo with Jerry Lewis. Each year, Jerry hosted a Las Vegas convention to train local TV anchors scheduled to work his annual...

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Are you there God? It’s me, Wattle.

September 4, 2012, 4:44 am

It’s juvenile, blasphemous text shorthand… yet I will say it. OMG. I have a wattle. Where’s Judy Blume when I need her? Why isn’t she writing books about my still changing body? Is it possible she...

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From “Lovely Laura” to “Diet Patch”: Delving Into the Spam Mailbag

September 5, 2012, 6:56 am

When I open my spam folder, I’m suddenly Dear Abby in reverse. Instead of writing to me for advice, all these people with pseudonyms are offering me solutions. So today I decided to delve into the...

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Absurdly Hot Research in the 1980s: Believe Me, It’s All About the Science

September 7, 2012, 3:38 am

Have you ever looked at hotness scientifically? I mean… like what life is like for absurdly hot people? If you are absurdly hot… have you completely understood that your experience on this planet isn’t...

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The Taylor Swift Stuffed Animal Song

September 10, 2012, 9:06 am

I know we’re supposed to think this song points to a failed celebrity hook-up… because that’s what Taylor Swift sings about. And it looks oddly like an SNL sketch. But I am absolutely convinced We are...

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